There is nothing wrong in being anonymous, if you are doing so for job reasons, because you are new or just because you feel personally safer and less stressed in interacting with people. If you aren’t doing it to sleep around without a/your partner knowing or for some other related reason, anonymity can be a security blanket of sorts. One thing that is a definite perk is that it allows for a decrease in the number of messages sent if someone does a location search and copy&pastes the same message to all women of a certain age in their vicinity – I am not saying that it does not happen to men or those outside of the gender binary either, merely that statistically, s-type women tend to get the bulk of those type of messages.
One suggestion is to set your age as 95 or 96, and your location to Antarctica (another popular one is the Vatican). This effectively means that you cannot be searched by your genuine age or location, and that people need to put some effort in and message you to find that out.
Mentors & Protectors
Here are some of the things it can mean: You’re screening potential play partners for someone- maybe your agreement with your protectee is that before they can meet with or play with someone new, the prospective new person has to talk with you first, either on the phone or by email. Perhaps it’s simply that if your protectee is approached by someone at a party or online, they can use you as a reason for turning that person down if they don’t feel right about them. If something doesn’t feel right to your protectee, they can talk to you about it, check in and get help ples.
Or, to quote another individual, I may or may not be actively playing with this person, but they are a special friend/protege of mine, so fuck with them and you’re fucking with me, buddy.”
A mentor is someone who, according to the BDSM Wiki is ‘a person who is considered a veteran in BDSM as a lifestyle, has agreed to take on the guidance (mentoring) of hookupdate.net/local-hookup/kamloops/ a Pupil into the lifestyle and has earned the trust of the pupil. The mentor will answer questions, help the pupil find resources, console them on possible internal struggles or give them resources for such help. A mentor will be sure to listen, understand and answer questions in regards to BDSM as well as help guide the pupil towards beneficial information and experiences.’ Now this also comes with its own bundle of controversy, as why have only one mentor when, in a local scene, you can have numerous people offering advice instead?
Obviously, there can be people that take advantage of either mentoring or protecting. But this should not deter someone from having a mentor or protector, if they feel that they will benefit from it.
*This document is based on the pattern observed between creepers and potential predators that come into Fetlife or other networks looking for a piece of ass or toy to break. It is clearly perception-based and not an exact science or one-size-fits-all formula. It is not a foolproof tool, rather a tool that may help guide new fetish community members away from potentially harmful individuals and/or situations.
This is an especially helpful tool for what predators see as “fresh meat” – those who don’t have any partners, Protectors or Mentors clearly listed on their profile.*